Contemplating Beauty

Approaching a chapter in life where I lose my innocence, I begin to ask myself a question that has long been a topic of debate among philosophers, (how so ever their means of broadcasting it) , the definition of expierience.
Sometime back I asked a question directed to a simpleton, as it may be expressed. The topic of the day was 'If child birth is the most traumatic thing to go through ever in your life-how come you dont remember it?', and thus was my question. He chewed up the semantics of every word in the question vigirously like a man in the final question of 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'-except he could'nt ask the audience, make a phone call, and there was no multiple choice answers to choose from.
Time moved slowly (Let me elaborate this expression with Einstein's Theory of Relativity another time), as I was finished with my dinner and about to leave the party he stopped me and sat me down. Stunned, I sat down and listened unconditionally; subjectively.
He begun,... responding to my question... "You see Rabin, when you are born, you are a clean slate..no memory whatsoever. You only perceive and rely on instinct to guide you. For example, when you are born you cry-instinct. You dont have any thing to refer to. Think of the colour red...see you are thinking of a red object or paint or something that you have seen before. A baby does not have this. He does not have any 'framework of reference' as Einstein puts it to relate thing to thing. In order for you to remember anything in your life you have to relte it to some perception that you acquired in your first few days of life and then to other expiriences. That's why babies are fascinated by almost anything you give them."
I was deeply intrigued by his answer, although I was wondering whether instinct---what is it?? Is'nt it memory......inbuilt within you. When you were born.
Chewing his answer up for a few hours I realised something. In my earlier article I mentioned that how the aboriginal people of Sarawak did'nt know the meaning of possesion........because they were not exposed to these 'habits' and 'attributes'.
It dawned on me..........beauty..a wonderful thing. Only in the eye of the beholder. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', as said by William Blake. It cannot be denied. Everyone has their own sense and sensation of beauty. We are conditioned, by society to think certain superficialities are beautiful;..........but that is the only way. Only with these superficialities of what is beutiful and what is ugly exist.................. which will give birth to new emotions of angst and love. Only with superficial ugliness can bauty lay. At the pinnacle of ugliness lies beuty and vise versa. Beauty can only exist if there is ugliness.
The absence of beauty is not ugliness.....for that is a fictional statement. It is intriguing that every expierience and perception that you have ever had in your life has led you to the moment that you can look at something and say wow...that's beautiful. Every laugh, tear and sarcastic remark has taken you there. There is no turning back......looking at something and admiring it for it's beauty is a curse that cn never be undone. An illusion that can never be taken away from your polluted mind. Better said............what a beutiful illusion.