Contemplating Beauty

Approaching a chapter in life where I lose my innocence, I begin to ask myself a question that has long been a topic of debate among philosophers, (how so ever their means of broadcasting it) , the definition of expierience.
Sometime back I asked a question directed to a simpleton, as it may be expressed. The topic of the day was 'If child birth is the most traumatic thing to go through ever in your life-how come you dont remember it?', and thus was my question. He chewed up the semantics of every word in the question vigirously like a man in the final question of 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'-except he could'nt ask the audience, make a phone call, and there was no multiple choice answers to choose from.
Time moved slowly (Let me elaborate this expression with Einstein's Theory of Relativity another time), as I was finished with my dinner and about to leave the party he stopped me and sat me down. Stunned, I sat down and listened unconditionally; subjectively.
He begun,... responding to my question... "You see Rabin, when you are born, you are a clean slate..no memory whatsoever. You only perceive and rely on instinct to guide you. For example, when you are born you cry-instinct. You dont have any thing to refer to. Think of the colour red...see you are thinking of a red object or paint or something that you have seen before. A baby does not have this. He does not have any 'framework of reference' as Einstein puts it to relate thing to thing. In order for you to remember anything in your life you have to relte it to some perception that you acquired in your first few days of life and then to other expiriences. That's why babies are fascinated by almost anything you give them."
I was deeply intrigued by his answer, although I was wondering whether instinct---what is it?? Is'nt it memory......inbuilt within you. When you were born.
Chewing his answer up for a few hours I realised something. In my earlier article I mentioned that how the aboriginal people of Sarawak did'nt know the meaning of possesion........because they were not exposed to these 'habits' and 'attributes'.
It dawned on me..........beauty..a wonderful thing. Only in the eye of the beholder. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', as said by William Blake. It cannot be denied. Everyone has their own sense and sensation of beauty. We are conditioned, by society to think certain superficialities are beautiful;..........but that is the only way. Only with these superficialities of what is beutiful and what is ugly exist.................. which will give birth to new emotions of angst and love. Only with superficial ugliness can bauty lay. At the pinnacle of ugliness lies beuty and vise versa. Beauty can only exist if there is ugliness.
The absence of beauty is not ugliness.....for that is a fictional statement. It is intriguing that every expierience and perception that you have ever had in your life has led you to the moment that you can look at something and say wow...that's beautiful. Every laugh, tear and sarcastic remark has taken you there. There is no turning back......looking at something and admiring it for it's beauty is a curse that cn never be undone. An illusion that can never be taken away from your polluted mind. Better said............what a beutiful illusion.

A New Beginning

Not too long ago I read a philosphical text by an unknown on the conformism of man towards the idiosyncrasies of modern society. How man has developed morals, and followed them.. developed religions and followed their "teachings", declared ownership on nature and his own neighbour. All of which we call and glorify giving it a name.........many names in fact. One I favour above the rest is progression. A mockery of ourselves....the word progression. It only applies to a minority of the spectrum that we would want it to.
Not too long ago I had a long debate with my father on how cruel people were years ago. While we were discussing I realised how cruel people were 50 years ago during wars, or 500 years ago where kings and emperor's who would castrate whole batallions and womanize entire villages with the sole reason that he was closer to "god". Yes we are less cruel now from that perspective. So I looked before that, to a time so long ago that it's number is just a conception for it's reality; unimaginable. To the time where modern organisations of individuals where at their grassroots. A time before religion, and more importantly possesion. I thought it whilst dreaming.
In reality, such a place exists eventhough it seems a dream. I was talking to an academic who was studying cultures and tribes of Borneo. She was ranting on about some rubbish beads and coins she got while living with them and how she's on easy street now. Ultimately out of that coversation that seemed to last an eternity, I gthere a distict notion of her living conditions. You see, she was living there for a year and every so often she needs some provisions...so she wouls take a 2-hour boat ride and 4-hour bus ride to town. So when she finally gets back, buying a month's-worth of toothpaste soap, candy-bars and freeze-dried noodles, these natives just walk into her tent and take those thing how much they want. This was they did'nt know the meaning of posession.
Ultimately, that is what I will be writing about here. I may write sories or essays but ultimately it will be about my escapades of my conditioned mind. A mind modern society has conditioned in a very disturbing way.